I haven't been in this situation in a long, long time, but it's funny how you are with yourself all day, everyday and you don't think anything of it. Like, I'm a regular person living day by day, taking the bus, going to work, seeing friends. There is nothing exciting about this and nothing that I would find exceptional about myself or my day to day life. But there is a person out there who is completely enthralled by me. Just me and my life and what I do in a day and who I am. And all of those things are very out of reach for him and if he were around these mundane things and me, he would be fulfilling this crazy desire he has and it would be wonderful.
The weird part is the same is true on this side of things too. I'm enthralled by his mundane activities and his day to day life and who he is as a person, even though none of that is exciting to him whatsoever. And he is with himself every day and doesn't think anything of how special he is, while I'm over here yearning to see him and experience his self proclaimed mediocrity.
Basically, it's funny to think that I am something that someone far away wants to see more than anything. I look at my hand and think there is someone across an ocean who wants to touch this hand more than anything. It's funny how just a few hours can catapult you into an entire month of wondering and wishing and hoping; into incessant thinking of this dim memory that now seems like a dream.
Blog, I've begun a chapter where I ponder with you instead of state stupid things that I have been up to. I'll snap out of it soon enough. Big life changes cause pondering. I have to admit the start of my Livejournal had the same essence to it.