This Is a First

Blog, a right of passage happened today. I got into my very first car accident that didn't involve severely injuring or killing a wild animal. No! I instead legitimately hit a car. No, not even hit. I think the correct term is "t-boned". I t-boned the drivers side of a car at a pretty nifty speed, if you don't mind me saying so myself. It was exhilerating and terrifying all at the same time. I feel pretty good about it for the following reasons:

1. This dude (yup, I got a good enough look at him to know he was a white male who is probably around the same age as myself) literally drove his car in front of mine as I was going down a main drag in good ole Minneapolis. There was no light and no notice that I was about to completely smash the front end of my 1997 Sable into  the side of some ambiguous silver four-door sedan.

2. As everyone (or most people) knows, when you hit a deer, you hit it because it runs out in front of your car at an interval that allows nothing but a gasp and a tap of the brakes to take place. That is exactly what happened to me this evening. Ironically, t-boning a silver four-door sedan at roughly 20 miles per hour caused less visible damage to my car than that one time I knocked out a headlight by hitting the ass of a deer back in North Dakota. I didn't even kill the deer. It ran away from my as I emerged from my car to yell at it in anger and frustration. Tonight's incident just left me surprised and shocked. Yes, a deer will run away from you. But a dude who just allowed his car to be totally fucked up by mine? I'm surprised.

3. I used my horn. This means nothing in the police report. This means nothing to the guy I hit. This means nothing to my insurance company. But the fact that one of my first reactions was to honk my horn comforts me for some reason. It makes me feel like I was the first one who responded to the whole situation. I got to take advantage of what little control I had over the situation by alerting anyone and everyone around me that some shit was about to go down. I got to let everyone hear the precursor to the actual accident. You're welcome, gawkers. I'd like to think I drew more witnesses in with my supersweet horn honking abilities.

So I called 911 for the first time. I filed a police report for the first time. I schmoozed with some very sweet and nice witnesses for the first time. And I missed my burlesque class for the first time. I was really looking forward to working my triceps this week too. No lie.

In a way I'm glad it happened. I suspect the damage to my car is minimal (I'm hoping anyway). I got a nice lesson in car accident ettiquette (note: don't drive away if you are t-boned!). And I ended up spending a nice evening with my roommates, wine, and tealights (turns out I'm all about ambiance after recovering from the initial shock of a traffic accident). Though I'm anticipating next Tuesday when I can once again spread my legs and snake my body in a classy stripper fashion.Yes, I was on my way to the burlesque class I've been taking when this all went down. And I plan on continuing to learn the art. Don't judge, Blog. You know you'd want to drop a shoulder strap to this song if ever you had the chance:

Thoughtsy Thoughts

I'm sat here, curled up on my bed in my room with my laptop. For just a moment things seemed ok and movie-esque. Then I remembered I'm quitting my job in a month and a half.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have no children, no husband, not even a boyfriend. I don't own a house and have no car payments. I have me and only me to worry about and it's not always going to be this way. Might as well make the most of my independence. Because that's what it is; independence, not lonliness.

Ok, it's a little bit of lonliness, but that is easily numbed by doing things like burlesque classes (tonight), rehearsal (tomorrow), and being "seen" at the theater (Thursday). I might even tell a story at a story slam in December if I can gather the courage to do so.

This is me trying to cultivate a life that I love, Blog. How am I doing? I feel like I'm failing at every turn. But then again, I'm here on my comfy bed, in my comfy clothes, nervous for a future that I can't quite picture. I'm totally out of my comfort zone. This has got to pay off in the long run. It usually does when I'm taken out of my safe and predictable routine. It's just been a really long time since I've stepped outside of a regular job with regular hours occupied by regular people. Time for something new. I guess not knowing exactly which day will be my last at work is a nice problem to have. Should I call it quits early on December 21st? Or push through until the very beginning of January? Either way, it's a great reminder that I am the one running my life, not the silly online school that has dominated it for the past five years.

No Prelude, Just a List

1. Today I went to the dentist for the first time in ten years. I've always kept it a secret as to how long it's actually been since I've been to the dentist, but now that I've broken that streak I've become more ok with my former dental irresponsibility. I have miraculously come out once again with no cavities. I don't know how I did it, Blog. They don't just tell you to brush twice a day for your health... or actually they do. This good news, however, reinforces the fear I have for the dentist since I've never experienced the pain of a drill. Though I did get my wisdom teeth pulled way back in high school. I can't imagine drilling would be that bad...

2. I have somehow ended up with two guitars in the back seat of my car, neither of which are mine. Weird. Had you told me that a year ago, I would have slapped you with a soft and supple hand that hasn't been mangled by steel strings digging into its fingertips.Then I would have silently worried about the impending root canal for which I was surely due since it had been a ridiculously long time since I had my teeth cleaned.

3. I just re-read points one and two and almost deleted them because I hate how they sound. But I won't because I've started writing point three. I'm past the moment. Must continue on and accept what is now the recent past.

4. I had a Mediterranian sandwich from Potbelly today for lunch/supper. It was my food conclusion after a long day of wondering what the hell I was so hungry for. The sandwich hit the spot. I would have never thought to eat it without taking a good seven minutes to pore over the friendly-soaked menu at the Potbelly in the IDS until I conjured up the memory that feta is delicious cheese that should never be put in a corner.

5. I wish I knew what IDS stood for. I'm sure I could look it up on the internet, but I did enough of that yesterday. I'll let it be a mystery for now.

6. Investor's Diversified Services. No wonder no one knows what the hell it stands for. How forgettable.

7. I like this song:

Bye!

Sing My Name, Sing My Name

Have you ever thought about songs that have your name in them, Blog? I haven't either. But thanks to the magic that is the internet, both you and the ability to look up songs with our names in them exist. Look at this gem I found just for you, Blog. You're welcome:

Today, a slight facebook tiff with my ex-boyfriend (one of the two I'm still friends with) lead me to look up Cole Porter's array of songs that he wrote for musicals, movies, and the general public's ear back in the first half of the 20th century. I won't get into semantics of exactly why I was looking up Cole Porter music*, but as I perused the long list of hits, a title stuck out to me: "I Love You Samantha".

Whaaa? I've never been aware of any songs that featured my name. When Mambo No. 5 came out during my freshman year of high school, I anxiously listened for my name so I would know the flavor of sexiness I was destined to represent. Unfortunately, the only person I knew who shared a name in the line up was my mom with "a little bit of Mary all night long". Great.

I've pretty much thrown out the novelty of having my name in a song ever since. The internet wasn't a thing I did back in high school and when it finally did come into my life, I had better things to look up.

But today, the simple and fun thought of looking up songs with my name as a defining detail was presented before my very eyes. I was pleased to find that Bing Crosby himself was the man who was in love with me. He's a one gal guy, in case you didn't know:

I also need to invest in a fabulous yellow robe.

Hearing my name sung by Bing's voice is so strange and fun! I was hooked. I did an official Google search for songs about Samantha and found this other one by Sir Elton John (one I probably should know about but don't because I'm terrible with pop culture):

I'm both amused and disappointed that I can identify more clearly with Lady Samantha, but what do you do. Having a slight case of the sads with you at all times can lend itself to creativity and the forlorn listening to a 1960s superstar's remorse for what he had said 'round the campfire. At least the truth came out in the end.


*A viewing of De-Lovely in late 2005 combined with my ex-boyfriend's loose wrists equalling an inside joke that includes the phrase "Cole Porter-Gay" might have something to do with it if you're really curious.

Thank God

Blog, I am really glad that I figured this out. I am really glad that I'm acting on it (be it strategically). I am incredibly relieved that I found some validation in the risks I'm about to take in the video/speech below:

So many times I've been asked at this job to articulate what my dream job is. It's always assumed that everyone would rather be doing something else, but we are here because it's the responsible thing to do. It's what needs to happen in order to afford the simple luxuries that we've grown accustomed to. I'm amazed at myself for being able to ask "But what's the worst thing that would happen if I went after what I really want to do?". My entire job is based on giving others the advice and motivation they need to go after their dreams. What would happen if I took my own advice? What is the absolute worst that would happen?

I would fail. I would be broke. I would have to put my dream on hold and start up a lame desk job again. But what I would have then that I don't have now is the experience and satisfaction of giving it a go. Might as well take a risk. There's only so much time left on this earth.