Wednesday, August 22, 2012

'V' As In Victor

Hey Blog.

So I was just looking at Facebook and noticed a childhood classmate of mine had a baby today. This particular classmate and I share the same name, so growing up we were always Samantha V. and Samantha D. We were never close friends, but we would share the flip bar on the playground and both had a penchant for gymnastics when we were in the first grade. I don't know about what she thinks of me, but I always felt a connection to her; probably because we were the only Samanthas in the whole school. We were variants of the same kind; our last initials the deciding factor between the two of us. So when I see what she's up to on Facebook, part of me feels that the similarities between our names should also exist in our lives.

For awhile there I was feeling like I was behind the times because everyone was getting married and having babies. I still kind of feel like I'm missing out, but I've come to accept that it's not in the cards for me right now. I figured out that I can put my energy elsewhere and be just as, if not more satisfied with what I'm up to right now.

And I have to remember that there is an inane desire in me to somehow stand out from the norm. Everyone is getting married and having babies. Everyone, but me.

Back to Sam. I feel like if I had had the 'D' for my last initial, I'd be the one holding the little bundle of joy who just entered this world. But I have the 'V'. It is my differentiating factor. And while she gave up her maiden 'D' to enter into a life of marriage and motherhood, I'm still holding on to my letter. I'm still Samantha V. And I'm doing my best to make whatever that is my own.

1 comment:

  1. Beautifully well said, my lovely Samanatha V. And I know this will sound bad to mothers who read this (but this a comment to you, not them and I don't have the time to go into my 30 min. explaination and understanding of how I do in fact respect their decision to have children). In reality, I watch many, many mothers who are good, wonderful loving mothers, but have in turn sacrificed most of their life goals (other than being a mom), educational, career aspirations and passions to be mothers. It is a trade off that right now, I am certainly too selfish to make. I am happy with that decision. You are exactly where you are supposed to be, Sam V.