Friday, June 8, 2012

Tonight I Meet My Past

Blog, I leave for my high school reunion in half an hour. Well, technically I just leave for home in half an  hour. The home that is North Dakota. The home that I used to hate and grew to love. Now I'm scared of it because my classmates are going to be lurking around the quiet streets of Finley. Only the streets this weekend won't be quiet. They'll be filled with parties and bands and parades and events. It is Finley Days, Blog. And the class of 2002 is going to be making an appearance.

Not all of us, of course, but more than I thought would ever get together for a reunion. I honestly didn't even think we had it in us to organize one. I certainly wasn't going to head up anything. I guess that's what we get for having a guy like Brad graduate with us though. He's bought up all of Finley over the past ten years and now has invited us to reconvene in the place we all have in common. I'm tempted to take furious notes the entire time so I can recount every oddity, forgotten memory, and sick gut feeling I experience. I'm also petrified that I will for some reason be called out as the weirdo I was in high school and embarassing memories will surface. I never belonged with them. I have a feeling I still don't.

Still, three things I have now that I didn't have then are experience, social skills, and the ability to drink alcohol. I plan to use all accordingly. I also have learned how to shop for clothes that fit me, embrace my curly hair, put on make up, and be comfortable in my own skin. But what is it about those you spent your adolescence with being the ultimate keepers of every insecurity you've ever had? I feel like want to prove something to them, but at the same time I don't care. I'm honestly going because I was going to Finley Days anyway. And I'm curious. I'm curious to see how far I've come since those days when I was made fun of because I was weird. I still am weird, but I'm ok with it now. I want to see how that weirdness translates to those who knew me during my formative years now that we're adults.

Basically this boils down to "blahdiddy blahdiddy blah blah blah I'm going to my ten year reunion and feel just like everyone else who ever went to a ten year reunion blahdiddy blah".

Time to drive to North Dakota so a rendition of this can happen:

There we are. Primed and ready to get out there and make huge mistakes.

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