Why is it that the first love sticks with you longer than anyone else? Or maybe that's just me. I've had a soft spot in my heart for my first love since the moment I saw him. It was my first semester of college and I was at the first rehearsal of the first play I had been cast in since my elementary school days. I knew no one, but thinking back on it I realize I was surrounded by people I'd grow to know very well and who would change my life. That's how college goes, I guess.
He was on the stage in jeans and a Metallica t-shirt rehearsing the one scene he appeared in. I didn't know him, but immediately liked him. I continued liking him throughout the run of the show, and since we both had bit parts there was a lot of time spent in the green room playing cards, trying on accents, and experiencing a legitimate interest in one another for the first time.
He was my first everything and I think this is why I feel so strongly for him still. We experienced it all together from dating, to meeting families and friends, to the intimate moments and the fights. We shared every first that comes with being in not just a long-term relationship, but a relationship of any sort. It's been 7 years since we broke up, but we never weren't friends afterward. Things weren't ugly at the end, they just wrapped themselves up because it was time. And through my first heartbreak, I told myself that I was always going to love that boy. My first relationship is probably the best first relationship anyone could ask for. Out of all the people I've dated since him, I still consider him the best boyfriend of them all. We were truly best friends when we were together and were able to have conversations that made us laugh, think, cry, and grow incredibly close. We spent freshman year frustrated by our lack of privacy, sophomore year sharing a twin bed in the dorms, and junior year figuring out how we were going to adjust to real life when all of this was over. We learned how it all works from beginning to end. And when it was over, it was over. We went our separate ways, but always have been able to reconvene periodically to have those conversations all over again.
So last night when I heard his familiar voice in my ear as I was pouring a glass of wine at a party made up of old college friends, I turned around and found myself in his arms once again. It's been a year and a half since I last saw him, but that didn't matter. We laughed, joked, reminisced, and caught up. And after everyone else had gone to bed, he and I stayed up to talk about the relationships we've had and God and life and people we know and people we don't know. I thought back to the young and naive girl who told herself she was always going to love this boy and couldn't help but appreciate her openness and honesty with such a statement. Because she was right.
As we bedded down for the night, once again sharing a twin bed (more platonically than we have in the past), I realized that I still love him. I always will. William, you're still the best boyfriend I've had. Thank you for that and all the firsts we shared together.
|Like the first time we dressed up in 20s costumes and posed for a picture.|